Love Will Tear Us Apart
by octoberland
Summary: Dark fest entry. Is love without a choice really love? A dark twist on Jacob/Renesmee as seen through the eyes of Bella Cullen. Character death, violence, and mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Long ass personalized a/n will be at the bottom. Just the facts for now. This was written for a Livejournal dark fest. I chose the following prompt:**

"**Twilight: Jacob/Renesmee. How little choice she has, non-con. Basically a fic acknowledging how screwed up this is and dealing with the consequences."**

**Please do not flame me for choosing that prompt and writing this. I have never judged anyone's ships or beliefs. I just thought this would be an interesting challenge.**

**Warnings: There is major character death and violence and mature themes. No rape though.**

**This could very easily be made into a multi-chaptered detailed fic but I wanted to post the one shot first to see if there is interest. Either way I would love it if you left a review.**

**Thanks for reading. And special thanks to my beta Aleeab4u and my pre-reader moneybeet. All characters property of Stephenie Meyer.**

_I puzzled over it, watching him stare at my daughter. Staring at her like…like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time._

"_No!" I gasped._

Bella Cullen

Breaking Dawn

Page 448

"No!" I shrieked, my arms tightening around my daughter. I was filled with horror. It wasn't just because it was Jacob. It was the whole of it. I remembered watching Quil and Claire on the beach that time and trying to wrap my head around it. No matter how Jacob had tried to describe it I just couldn't understand the whole imprinting thing.

I felt someone tugging on Renesmee trying to free her from my arms, but that only made me clutch her tighter. I growled. My focus was trained solely on my _friend_. He looked desperate and wild. His eyes kept darting between me and the child in my arms as though he were trying to decide which of us to go for first.

"Bella, give her to me. Please." I heard Rosalie's plaintive voice to my right but I ignored it. Then I felt a warm hand on my throat and I realized that I was hurting her. I was hurting my daughter. I gasped and finally looked down at her. I expected her to be crying or worse, injured. Thankfully she was neither. Still, her thoughts had been enough to remind me of my newborn strength and I quickly handed her over to Rose. I gave Rosalie a look that said _if any harm comes to my baby you will pay with your life_ and she nodded her understanding.

"I won't let the dog near her," She promised

As soon as Renesmee was free from my arms my instinct was to lurch forward but Edward's arms held me firmly in place.

"Bella, we can't." I could hear that this pained him. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that he was feeling the same way I was. I could feel it in the tenseness of every one of his muscles and I could hear it in the hiss of his voice at my ear. He trembled with anger.

"Why. Not." I forced the words out one at a time, loudly and clearly so that Jacob would know I had no intention of ever giving him the chance to get near my child.

"Because if we do the pack will declare war and kill us all."

I growled and snapped at Jacob.

"Bella, hear me out!" Jacob pleaded. He held up his hands in a gesture meant to indicate that he was no threat, sweaty palms facing out showing they were empty. But I knew he didn't need weapons to hurt my family. Jacob _was_ a weapon.

"Hear what Jacob? That you imprinted on a child? That you imprinted on _my_ child?!" I asked incredulously. "No, absolutely not."

"You know I can't help it." His voice came out in a mere whisper tinged with guilt as though he knew it were wrong.

"You can help it and you will help it," I demanded. "Jacob Black you are no longer welcome in this house. Leave. Now," I said, pointing at the door.

"I can't."

I tried to lunge forward again but Edward held me fast.

I saw Jacob straighten up, no longer submissive. "I won't." There was an edge to his voice.

"Edward…please…" I whined, struggling in his arms.

"Anyway," continued Jacob, "this isn't your house. It's not up to you."

Good point. Why the hell was he even here? I immediately stiffened and ceased my struggling.

"Edward?" I asked.

Silence.

I looked to Rosalie who was standing by the doorway. Renesmee was squirming in her arms but Rosalie kept her facing away so that she could not see the confrontation taking place.

"Rosalie?"

She shifted her gaze back to my child without replying.

"Someone please tell me what's going on here!"

I heard footfalls on the stairs and then Carlisle appeared.

"We've…" Carlisle paused, tenting his fingers together, searching for the right words, "allowed him to stay. As a precaution." He looked up at me over his joined fingers waiting for my reaction.

"As a precaution against what?" I asked warily.

"How much do you remember, Bella?" he continued.

I sighed, growing frustrated. "How much do I remember about what?" I spat out.

"About imprinting. About what it's like for them and what Jacob told you."

My brain quickly scanned every memory, every conversation, every spied embrace between Sam and Emily, and I still couldn't figure out why it mattered.

"Carlisle, just tell her." Edward's voice surprised me, reminding me that he was there. In my confusion I hadn't noticed that he'd released his grip on me.

"It could harm Jacob if he were to leave, if he were to be away from her," He said while nodding at Renesmee.

"Like I give a damn!"

"Bella, take a look around the room. Do you notice anything missing?" Edward's voice was patient and quiet belying the intensity of the situation.

I did as he said, first with my eyes and then with all of my senses, sniffing the air and listening for the slightest shuffling of feet or fabric or whisper of voices, but there were none from within the house. Where were the rest of the Cullens? Alice? Jasper? Emmett? Esme? Shouldn't Jasper be here to try and calm everyone down? Wouldn't Emmett want to be with Rose to try and protect her?

"Where are they?" I asked stonily, not sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

"They're outside," Carlisle answered. "Surrounding the house."

Surrounding the house? Why would they need to do that?

"You see, Bella," Jacob said cockily, "If you hurt me, if you cause me any pain at all, my pack will tear through the Cullens and kill you all. All except for my Renesmee."

I bristled when he said 'my'.

"You wouldn't win."

"Do you really want to take that chance?" he asked. "Did you even notice what I just said?"

_My pack_.

"What do you mean, 'your pack'?"

"They're mine now, Bella. And they'll do whatever I say. They have to."

I looked from Jacob to Carlisle then to Rosalie and finally to Edward behind me looking for confirmation.

"It's true," he said, in a defeated voice.

Maybe Edward had been right. Maybe we were damned and soulless creatures after all because if there were a God how could he do this to us? All we wanted was to love each other, to be a family and to live out our eternity peacefully.

"It is believed that if a Quileute is kept away from the one he imprints on it could cause physical harm, possibly even death," said Carlisle.

"Good!" I barked.

"And then the pack will descend upon us. All of us." He said, glancing at our daughter.

I wanted to sob. "You can't seriously expect me to just hand her over to him?" I asked incredulously.

"No, of course not, love." Edward tried to soothe me by running his hand over my hair.

All the while Jacob just stood there smugly, his arms crossed over his muscled chest as he watched us.

"But we need to tread carefully," he continued. "We can't afford to risk anything."

He looked at our daughter and then back at me pleading with me to understand. In all that we'd been through I didn't think I'd ever seen so much sorrow or pain in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, kissing the top of my head.

"What are we going to do?" I mumbled into his chest.

"I'll tell you what you're going to do," said Jacob. "You're going to let nature take its course. You're going to let me have my soul mate."

I started to say _over my dead body _but then realized how ridiculous that was. But what he had said gave me an idea.

"Fine, Jacob. We'll let nature take its course," I said as I peeked out from around Edward's arms. I felt Edward stiffen.

"When she's of age we'll let her decide," I continued. "If she wants you, if she truly loves you, then I won't stand in the way of her happiness. But until then there will be rules."

"You aren't exactly in the position to be laying down rules Bella," said Jacob.

"There will be rules," I insisted. "If you do not agree to them then we fight. And I will make sure…" I paused, realizing I was unsure of exactly what Renesmee could and could not understand of what we were saying. "I will make sure that you have nothing left to live for."

"You wouldn't." His eyes widened.

"Try me."

"What are the terms?"

"You will not be alone with her. Ever. You will not touch her. You will call off your dogs and let us live normal lives."

"There's nothing normal about your life," he scoffed.

I continued as though he had said nothing.

"You will not live here. If you must be nearby you can sleep outside."

"Maybe we'll even build you a doghouse." I heard Rose snicker.

"Are you done?" Jacob asked.

"I think so."

"Good. I agree to not be alone with her. But I have some conditions for your other rules."

"Go on," I replied warily.

"I won't touch her, but she can touch me if she wants to. I will send the pack further away from the house, but they do not leave the property. But I will live in this house."

* * * *

And so the years passed with us as prisoners in our own home. In order to wrap up loose ends Carlisle claimed that I'd had a miscarriage and died due to complications from it. The town accepted this easily considering the quick marriage I'd had. Pregnancy was something they'd suspected all along. Carlisle also convinced my Father to have a closed casket funeral saying that Charlie should remember me alive and vibrant and not stiff and cold in a box.

Carlisle retired from the hospital stating that he no longer felt he could help people after failing his daughter-in-law. And since the Cullens had always led fairly private lives to begin with no one really noticed their absence from the outside world. We weren't allowed phone calls or internet communication. Only the most elementary of things were permitted, such as paying bills and occasional letters to stave off suspicion.

We lived like caged animals constantly testing the boundaries of our captivity. While Edward and I stayed inside with Renesmee the rest of the Cullens paced the yard looking for a weak spot in the perimeter the wolves had created but they never found one.

And like caged animals we were fed instead of being allowed to hunt; the wolves brought us the cooling carcasses of the larger game that never came onto our land. We sucked at the congealing blood while grasping the limp and lifeless bodies in our arms. We grew weak with hunger. We'd never have the strength to fight them now.

Renesmee aged at an alarming rate. By the time she was seven she looked like a teenager, but I could tell her mental capacity was still that of a child. True, she could perceive things most people could not but she had grown up isolated in a place filled with fear and hatred and Jacob's growing desire for her. She was stunted, a tree without sun or air. Her days were spent sitting in front of the window staring out at nothing. She had stopped asking questions a long time ago.

Jacob was growing increasingly impatient. "I love you," he had declared more than once, believing that those three words should be enough to heal all the open wounds he'd caused. But Renesmee didn't love him back. It was rare for an imprintee to not feel the same, but not impossible. Leave it to my daughter to be the one in a million that differed from all the rest.

I think after a time a part of me, a deep and secret part, had hoped that she would love him; that we could all be free from this. She would be happy, the pack would be happy, and we could move on with our lives. But then at other times I would see how Jacob looked at her and it scared me. He would look at her with that same kind of madness he had turned on me when he'd kissed me, but multiplied by thousands. I wondered what he would do if she ever denied him anything or displeased him in any way and in those times I thought about death, true death. I thought about killing her myself and then waiting for the peace that would come with my own death that Jacob would surely mete out himself.

It was a Friday when that day came. I was brushing Renesmee's hair when Jacob entered the room and I knew right away that something was different.

"Have you no feelings for me at all?" he asked her. She looked at him with sadness in her eyes that had lived there for a long time, part sympathy and part despair. She rose from where she sat and for the first time ever approached him with her hand outstretched. I could see the shift in his eyes. He thought he'd finally won. But I knew better. I knew her heart inside and out. She was about to show him what he'd done to her, to us.

"Edward," I called in our silent way that no one other than our kind could hear. He was at my side in an instant. I held him and opened my mind to him. It was the only way we could truly communicate without the wolves knowing. I showed him every pleasant memory I had of him, showed him my love for him, the weight of it and happiness it had brought me even through these last years. It was goodbye and he knew it.

"I love you." He whispered. "I've always loved you."

I heard Jacob sob behind me and I spun to see what was taking place. She was holding his hand, showing him everything surely as I had just shown Edward. But Jacob's sorrow was short lived. As soon as she released his hand the anger and obsession that had become his idea of love returned; that arrogant belief that he could convince people to want him if only he tried hard enough.

He grabbed her roughly and planted his lips on hers pushing her mouth open with his tongue. It made me shudder. It was too much like that time he had forced himself upon me. I couldn't bear for her to go through that especially knowing that she couldn't fight back. A punch to his face would only fuel his fire. I had to end this. Now.

Faster than he could react I grabbed her and ran out the door. I sped down the drive towards the town of Forks. My Father would be working today and if we had any luck at all he would be in the station and not out on a call. It was the only place I could think of to go. I tried not to think about what was going on back at the Cullens' as I ran.

The station was on a road that was bordered by forest so it was easy to get there without being seen. It was early and many of the cars were still in their allotted spots which meant there would be people inside. Lots of people, including Charlie Swan. I slowed my pace and entered.

My daughter and I stood there, windblown and harried. The man at the front desk knocked his chair over. "Bella? Bella Swan?" he asked. I said nothing and looked behind me at the door listening for any sign that the wolves had found us.

"C-Charlie…" I heard the man stutter. "Charlie!" he yelled, looking back over his shoulder.

"What's the matter Bill?" He was walking towards the front adjusting his gun belt without even looking up. My Father. I hadn't seen him in seven years. His hair was graying and he had stubble on his face but besides that he seemed the same. Stoic and businesslike. The man named Bill didn't respond. He just stared at us and pointed.

"Bella?"

My Father stumbled. My Father never stumbled, and yet there he was propping himself up by one hand on the edge of the desk. "Bella?" he asked again.

"It's me." I stepped towards him but still kept a distance between us. I couldn't help but notice how good everyone smelled.

"We need your help. Please." I glanced back over my shoulder again.

"Baby, where you been?" I felt his hands grasp my shoulders and when I looked at him I could see his cop instincts kicking in. He knew something was different about me, off.

I didn't have time to explain. I knew they'd be coming. I had to hope that our reunion would be enough to make him do anything to ensure that he didn't lose me again.

"Dad, there's someone after us. They're going to kill us. They'll kill all of us. You too I think. I know this is crazy but I need you to believe me."

"Bella, what…"

I cut him off. "This is your granddaughter," I said, pulling Renesmee closer to us. She lifted her hand to his cheek and showed him everything. He was a rational man. I knew he of all people could handle what he was seeing.

When she was done he had a momentary look of surprise but his face quickly hardened and he began to bark out orders.

"Bill! Harris! Doug! I need all my men outside. Now."

He pulled out his gun and pushed us further inside.

"I need everyone to surround the building, weapons at the ready, no questions asked."

They looked at him quizzically.

"NOW!" They scattered like startled sheep and filed out the doors one by one, my Father included.

I held my daughter and shushed her even though she made no sound. It was some ingrained motherly instinct to calm when all is not right.

We waited. And waited. The only sounds were an occasional ringing of the phones and beeping from the CB radio.

We edged towards the glass doors looking out to see what we could. The air was still and the sky muted with the ever present gray clouds. I could see the trees across the lot. They were a blur of green and brown. No. The green wasn't a blur. But the brown was. I'd recognize it anywhere.

_Jacob_.

"Kill him! Shoot! Now!" I screamed as I pushed the doors open. But it was too early. Their human eyes couldn't see him yet. I was crying, or as near to crying as my kind could get.

"There." I pointed as the Jacob wolf finally came into view.

"It's just a wolf," I heard one of the men comment. "You dragged us out here because of a wolf?"

"Shoot." My Father's voice was low and steady, his gun cocked and aimed. "Shoot. Now." He said, more loudly.

He let off the first shot but Jacob easily dodged it.

"Kill him! Now!" my Father ordered. His men obeyed the strange request and opened fire on the wolf who used to be my friend. My body shook as each shot rang out. The russet wolf faltered, zigzagging in an attempt to avoid the bullets but it was futile. They embedded within him and even his ability to heal couldn't keep up with the onslaught.

He fell to the ground mere feet away from us, his chest heaving with the shallow breaths that come right before death. The one eye I could see was glassy and moist and I could hear my child crying softly beside me. The man who had once been my best friend lay before me. The one who had held me together when I thought I had died, the one who had kept me warm when my world turned cold and the one who had fought to keep me alive. And this was how I repaid him.

My Father lowered his gun and fired one last shot aimed at Jacob's head. My friend was gone forever and so was everyone else it turned out. The Cullens had lost. It had been a brutal fight. Unbeknownst to us the numbers in the pack had been growing over the years. In their hungry and weakened state the Cullens were no match for a pack that size. Every one of them fell and it was all because of me. The hole inside of me ripped wide open.

We said that we'd been kidnapped by the Quileute because of some ancient superstition of theirs, that we had in actuality been held all those years and not dead. We explained that Carlisle had been forced to play his part since they had threatened his family as well. When the police went to the Cullen home to check out the story they found it empty and in shambles; but we didn't need them to confirm anything. Billy and the other elders handed over the boys without a fight and they confirmed everything minus the fact that there actually were vampires. They made as though they'd simply fallen prey to a bunch of old wives tales and suffered some kind of mass hysteria. It was a stretch but since everyone's story matched the charges stuck.

Renesmee was written off as a relative of the Cullens who'd gotten caught in the crossfire. Her surprise visit is what had set off the chain reaction that allowed me to run; and the wolf that attacked us at the station was just happenstance.

It was a small town. Things were easily covered up. The press were kept out of things because the tribe didn't want shame to fall on them any more than it already had, and similarly Forks didn't want to be known for such a horrible incident. They wanted to remain an innocuous little spot on the map.

Renesmee and I went to live with Charlie. She took my old room which he had left exactly as it had been when I had lived there before. I used my old clunky computer to transfer some funds to an account in my Father's name along with some untraceable ones as well.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" he asked.

"I have to."

"No. You don't." His eyes were wet with unshed tears. "Bells I just got you back. Don't leave me." His voice cracked when he said that last part.

"Dad, I have to. You know I can't stay here. How would we explain this?" I said, gesturing to myself. The change had been good to me. I looked like a woman; an ethereal unnaturally beautiful woman who would never age and he knew it.

"Then I'll come with you," he reasoned.

"And what kind of life is that for her?" I asked, nodding my head towards the second floor where Renesmee was resting. "She's been a prisoner long enough. I want her to have a normal life. You can give her that." I could see in his face that he knew I was right.

"Teach her how to fish," I said with a small smile. "Take her to see Renee. Eat greasy food with her at the diner. Just take care of her. Love her and take care of her."

"I will kiddo," he whispered as he pulled me into a hug.

He walked me out to the car I'd had him buy for me. Once I was settled into the driver's seat I rolled down the window so I could say one last goodbye.

"Where are you going to go?" he asked.

"Italy," I said. "I'm going to Italy."

You see, like Jacob, I couldn't live without the one I loved, my life, Edward. No matter how much I loved my daughter the hole that had ripped wide open in me in his absence would never heal. I could already feel myself slipping away. I only hoped that I could succeed where Edward had failed.

_Music, when soft voices die,  
Vibrates in the memory,  
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,  
Live within the sense they quicken._

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,  
Are heaped for the beloved's bed;  
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,  
Love itself shall slumber on.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

**A/N #2: Keeping in mind that I am falling asleep right now. I am finally coming out of my shell *I think*. I hope. I owe many people messages either from pm's or reviews and I just want you to know that I'm sorry for not being in touch. You may be wondering why the hell I wrote this thing. Well, it's because I had promised to write it before I fell into my slump and as those of you who know me know, I hate breaking promises.**

**I am happy to report that I am now a VIP author on A Different Forest.**

**Gah. I lied. I'm too tired for a long ass a/n. For those of you that have been with me, that supported me with your kind words and messages and continued readership, THANK YOU. You have my love and appreciation.**

**More later when I'm not falling over…**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: As you'll see this doesn't count as a traditional chapter. An editor/publisher friend of mine recently made a Livejournal post in which he suggested authors write a letter from the perspective of one of their characters and this is what came out for me. It's just a little thing but I felt it was worth attaching to its story/character. I didn't have this beta'd since it's really just meant as an exercise. Still, I hope you like it.

As always characters property of Stephenie Meyer.

Edward,

I hope that you can forgive me for what I've done, for what I'm about to do. I see now that you were right to be angry about my pregnancy yet in retrospect I still would have gone through with it. But I would have done one thing differently. I would have run as far away from you and the rest of the Cullens as possible. Then you would be alive. All of you. And I could take a small comfort in that I'd have a piece of you in the form of Renesmee.

But I didn't make that choice. I didn't know what would happen despite your warnings. I always so foolishly believed that everything would be all right, that we would get our happily ever after. And your entire family paid the price for my naiveté.

She's safe by the way. She's with Charlie and no one knows about her and I intend to keep it that way. I plan to end my life. It's a beautiful sunny day and I'm sitting on top of a hill just outside of Volterra. I'll head into town and face the same fate you once did. It seems only fair and I'm confident I'll succeed.

I wonder if you were right. Is there no heaven or hell? Or if there is are we relegated to the latter? Will I find you there or will God have mercy on us? I want so badly to believe he will. Renesmee is good, your family was good, you were good. You were more than good. You were my everything and despite still having ties to this Earth I find that I cannot stomach it without you here. My body literally aches in your absence. The hole is back; stronger than it ever had been before because I know you are no longer out there somewhere.

Can you see this letter from where you are? Can you finally hear my thoughts and know what I'm writing, what I want to say to you? I hope so. I know that I should destroy this, that I should probably burn this but I can't bring myself to. Instead I'm going to put it in a bottle and send it off into the ocean. Somehow that feels better to me, like maybe if it's there you'll still be able to see it even if we are never reunited beyond this life.

I love you. A thousand times I love you. And I don't regret one second spent with you.

Always Yours,

B.


End file.
